In my introductory post I talked about Grandma. Today I want to talk about Mom, and why it’s important that she understands what you’re building.

If you’re like most engineers (ok, I’m not being scientific here–definitely at least me, but it could apply to you too so pay attention), you spend your entire life in quiet frustration and embarrassment that your family has absolutely no idea what you do for a living. Year after year you explain it to Mom over a holiday dinner, and watch as her eyes glaze over while you illustrate the finer points of forging a widget. You explain how the metal has to be just the right temperature before molding it into shape, or else the structure will be prone to fracture. Then you watch her fake a phone call, or turn on the TV, or get up from the sofa, rudely interrupting your train of thought while patting her stomach and saying, “I’m staaarrrving. I’m gonna check if the turkey’s ready yet. I’m sorry honey, I’ll be right back.”

You and I both know she’s not coming back. It’s not something we talk about, but it’s real. And depressing.

I can’t help solve your depression, but I can make a larger point about how Mom is really just a microcosm of the rest of the world. Before I do that, though, you need to get over it; it’s not that she doesn’t care what you do. The moment you realize that this is your fault, not hers, the better off you’ll be. And guess what, this goes for your potential customers too.

Instead of talking about how and why your solution works (aka your problems), maybe you should talk about her problems. Explain how your widget washes her windows for her using perfect strokes, so never again will she scream and throw another wine glass across the room because no matter how hard she scrubs, the “streak-less” cleaning fluid still leaves evidence of her gigantic paws on the windows. Or explain how using your widget could help sell her house just a little bit faster. Wow. And instantly she gets it. Then she’s on the phone with her friend friend Sally who owns a seashell factory and needs a widget too.

Sure, it’s not always that easy. I guess what I’m trying to say though leads me to Afterthought Myth #2: Your problems are not their problems. Often it’s not about explaining how your solution works, but about how it can make an impact on someone’s daily life. Keep that in mind when you start geeking out over features (it’s got a dual channel mode! it glows in the dark!). At the end of the day it’s about them, not you.